It's been a crazy year. I got my first job that paid enough for me to rent a place and eat at the same time, I've been fiddling with a dozen hobbies I've been meaning to start with, I'm taking classes again, and most of all I'm really, really tired. All the time.
All these stupid distractions, and I really just want some sleep!
I've always joked that I'm getting older because X, but yesterday I realized how far I've come since the days I used to joke about it. I bought a bunch of books and read until I got tired and went to sleep. It's not a joke any more. Getting older is actually a thing for me now.
Before someone comes in and yells at me for not really being all that old, I'm making this post in the context of my own experience. I realize stuff will change, I realize I'm still young by most folks' standards, but I'm older than I've ever been before and that's scary to me.
I mean, I can take naps now. I used to never be able to take naps, I was too full of energy. Drinking a Coke before bed meant that I was destined to stay up until four in the morning before crashing and sleeping until noon. Now I can chug a soda before a two hour nap and still be able to sleep for eight hours that night. I'm not going through the life changes most guys go through around my age - No kids, no pets, no girls. It's not that my circumstance is changing, I'm actually changing.
I'm starting to think that looking back at your younger self and shaking your head at the mistakes you made is just human nature. If I were to take an honest look at where I was and where I'm at, I'd say the position I'm in is better. I've got a job, an apartment, a healthy diet, and I'm on my way to getting my bachelor's degree. Am I really any smarter than I was, though? I still make the same dumb mistakes. I still stress about inconsequential stuff. I wonder if my newly gained wisdom for past-me is actually just hindsight. I'm certainly not making decisions that would impress past-me enough to have him listen to me.
I started this blog with the intention of posting videos about reviewing and playing games, and expanding a bit in text where I couldn't fit stuff in with the video. Neither of those have happened, and instead the blog's kind of become a bi-weekly thing where I muse or rant about random things. I may be getting ahead of myself with this post being number five, it's interesting to see where I'd like my interests to be and where they actually are. I'm more opinionated on books than games, and more interested in sleeping than sitting down and reading a book. I can't help but be okay with this.
Maybe I'll just make some posts about books and sleeping. It'll be a smash hit!
Next year's going to be interesting. I don't imagine it'll be too different from this year, just busier once I officially start college again and more tiring as I try to balance work, school, play and socializing, while trying to stick my hobbies somewhere into the whole mess. In order to focus on one thing another has to get less attention. I've come to see time as a valuable resource.
Is it getting older that makes me think the best use of my time is sleeping it away?